


A Farmers Life for Me

by StorngerThanFriction



Category: Harvest Moon
Genre: Adventure, Chonkins, Cows, Crack, Crack and Angst, Dark Crack, Dogs, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Snoop Dogg - Freeform, Trains, farming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21624892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StorngerThanFriction/pseuds/StorngerThanFriction
Summary: Once upin a time there was a young man named Pete who lived in the big city. But after his grandather dies, ne needs to go to the big ol' country to be a farmer once again for the first time. And the rest is histry...
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, friends! Do you like fanfic, cuz if you do then youll love this and do you like Harvest Moon cu if you do that you'll love this and if you don't love this than maybe you need to reevalalate your life. Drive safe, babies~~~

Wunce upon a time there was a Jung man named Pete who lived in the big city. Little did he no his life was about to change forever…

Once upon a time Pete woke up to his alarm going of.  
“Wha- what was that?” he said, waking up. But it wasn’t his alarm at al. It was his telepone ringing! He anserred it.  
“Heloo?” he said, speaking into the pjone. It was his relatives. His mother and father, to be exact. They told him that his grandfather had just passed away. That made him sad. But what they had to say next made him feel all batter! They told him that they saw the Will of the old dead man and the Will spoke to them and told tham that the farm now belonged to Pete now! That’s right. Pete’s grandfather was a farmer. Peete was suprised and sad to learn that his gandfathar was a framer. And now he was going to be a farmer again, too! Isn’t it funy how life is?  
So anyway, Pete packed up his things and moved out too the big ol’ cuntry to start afresh. Wen he got there, he took a train to get there. It was a long train ride to the big ol’ country, but Pete didn’t mind because he liked trains so much, making him a train expert. The train shot fastly down the track like a very speedy train going at extreme speeds. Never before had Pete travelled so fast! He was not sure if the train was going fast or quick, but he was impressed either way.  
After pete got to his new hometown, he got of the tran. He new wat he had to do first but first he had to do somehting. You have to spek to the Mayo of the country! He introduces himself has the Mayor of Neighbor Town, which is the town of which he is the Mayor. So then he shows u two your brand new hourse. You go inside, and it smells like dust and old house. When you come back out, a dog runs up to u, nd you want to keep it.  
“Can I keep it?” pere asked the Mayor eerily.  
“No,” He says, frowning. He didn’t want you two have teh doge yet.  
“Oh, please?” Pete continues to aske the Mayor why he cannot have the dog.  
“The dog is not impotent right now,” says the Mayor inpatiently. “What is important is what I have to tell you next,” he continues mysteriously. Now you are really intreeged. You raise your eyebrows and everything, and leen in closer so that you may catch every sylliball that passes from Mr. Mayors lisps. He cuntinues wunce more: “This is your house now, Pete. And this is really important. You need to make a prosperous farm with so many cows and chicknes that you won’t bea ble to see past them. And also vegtibles, such as corn and grass, so that you may grow big and strong like your grandfather.”  
“But my grandfarmer is dead,” Pete said, his eyes filling with FRESH new tears. Now he fell lik crying.  
“I know,” said teh Mayor. “Thats why it’s so impotent.”  
Now Pete understood. So he noodded to show he understood. Suddingly it all made cents. Pete saw his life unfolding before him. Endless days of feeding and grooming aminals, tending crops and caring for his personal needs. The days bleed together in a homogenious mass of days and nites, sons and moons, cows and hens. The seasons ticking by with the relentless, predictable regularity of the second hand on a cloak. Never before had he felt the full weight of his mortality like this before. It felt suffocating. His head reeled, and he felt for a moment like he might faint.  
“Yee-haw! Here we go again!” Pete exclaimed excitedly.


	2. Chapter 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everynun Ihope you are having a good day and now you may reed my newest fanfiction about Hravest Moon which is a game we all love to play sometimes, isnt it? Don"t forgot to be kind and always put your wallet somewhere refonsible, I love you!

Pete awoke in a cold sweet, with sweat dripping from his nose and eyes. It was a day later, but he didn’t feel any older. He HOPED out of bed and ate a himboa for bakefast. Then he went into town to get things to start a farm with. He alredddy had a toolshed FULL of RUsty Tool. Now he just need to get animals and cops. And that’s why he went into town.  
When he got into town, Pete felt refreshed. The crisp, spring, country, fresh, oxygen-rich air filled his lungs with oxigen, as well as several other gasses. Pete decided to sing a song about it.  
“Dooo da do do, breathe in, breathe out,” he sing gloomily. “Deebadee-doo, I liv on a farm.”  
“That’s a beautifully song you are sanging,” said a voice. Pete exclaimed loudly and said, “Holdy shit!” while he did so. He wiped around to see a layday. She had short brown hair and too eyes.  
“What the fuk is wrong with oyu? Why would you snek up on me lik that? Are you going to murder me?!” sed Pete, very supprised. Ann giggled.  
“Oh, I wouldn’t know yow to moider you,” said Ann again. “I’m just here to help my dad work on things in his shope because he makes a milking machine to milk cows. But I suppose you don’t hav andy cows… Do you?”  
Pete was being made very uncomftable by all the questions, so he walked awee happily. He loked over his soldier at Ann, and saw her smil and wave at him. He blushed, thinking about her nasaly voice and embarrassing posture. Then he went to the garden store that wuz called FLOWERS SHOP. Wunce he got they're, he walked in the door and closed hit formly behind himself. He was breathing heavily because he was stil afraid of Ann.  
“Did you just come in from outside?” said the shopkeeper.  
“Um, yes,” said Pete shakily.  
“O did you c my daughter out there, out in front of the shop wear she walks back and forth all day?” asked the shopkeep questioningly.  
“I didn’t notice a gurl with pink hair,” lied Pete.  
“Oh.” the shopkeeper was dis appointed. “Well, wile you are hear you shud find a blue flower to use to propose to a woman who lives here. That way ull never be able to leve again,” she groweled. Pete smiled.  
“okay sounds good may I hav sum seeds to gro topapoes with, please?”  
“ARE U SHUR THATS WHAT YOU WANT!!!”  
“Pete selected yes,” said Pete. “and then he left the store and ran home.”  
And then he left the store and ran home. And he arrived at his house and planted al teh corn, then he watered evry place he cud think of and went insid to think abut wat too doo next. After he was dun thinking, he sed, “Oh, shit I forgot to get chibkins!” so he went back outside two go back too the marked but that is when something happed! And the sun went down, which is the thing that happened which I mentioned happening before, okay?  
So you run arond the farm for many hours pulling up weeds to make more room for crops, but when the sun didnt come up agin you decided too go back inside. Then u memembered about sleeping, so you rote in ur journal, “today I am going to sleep an thats when you saved the game. Good night!  
That’s when Nina’s mom memembered to tel Pete about the watering can.  
“Here is a watering can for you to water your farm with!” she said, gifting him a whatering can.  
“Damn, thanks, that watering can will bee really gud for watting i bet.” said pete. Winking a wink in her direction. She said thank you for the wink, then Pete said wee wee wee all the way home and watereded his plans to go to sleep. GOOD NIGHT?! Just wait until you read wat happens in the next chorpter.


	3. Chapter 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again my little babies it's tine to red andother chaptre of my novel that I amd posting to the fanfiction.net website of which this is. It's cold out there so don't forget to bring yout cote I love you goodnight!

On this day, day 3 of Spring, Pete woke up to a sound outside his house that sounded like a dog barking. He went utside to find a dog barking. He was very suprised to find this dog barking at his house, but then a boy ran yup and said that it was his dog, but he was going away to live with his brother in the big city who had sadly just passed away and that’s why he needed Meat to take the dog. Pete chook his head. He had never hered something so sad, but he still had hope. Hope for the dog and for the boy. Hope for a better tomorrow foe everyone in the town of Neightmare Town. So he then started nodding his head incouragingly at the boy.  
“what are oyu doing?” the boy shouted at Pete. Pete grabbed Henry by the shoulders, and he leaned down to look in his eyes and he started shaking him and he said:  
“Never forget yoUR DREAMS!” and he repeated that several times until the boy beeleeved him. Pete could tell that the boy named Hornry beleeved him because he started crying in a way that seemed like he was convinced of his true otention. So Pete let him go and smiled as the boy ran sobbing down the treat. Pete poot his hand s on his hips and nodded his head and smiled and looked after the boy running down that lane and thought about being school teacher. So he watered his potates and wend to the school that was inside of the town.  
“Wait!!!!” said the mayor lazily. “you forgot to name youre dog!!”  
“oh yeah,” said Pete so he went back to his house and pulled up the menue so that he could tipe in his dogs name. It took him a long time to think of wat to name teh dog, but he decided to name the dog ebentually. But he didn’t have enough space to nam the dog Eventually, so he named her Evan.  
“Okay, even, now I need to go to the store to get a job at teh schoolhouse,” said Pete to Evan. Evan nodded her head. “You watch over the farm wile I’m gon and make sure none of those elves steel my onions.” Evan Groweldd as if to say “Yes, Peter, I want let u down, I will bite elves if I need to to protect our family from introoders so don’t you worry about n e thing because were best fiends now and I will always protec you and your farm from elves iven if I hav to bite them because we are best friends now and I wil potect you from elsa.” So Pete patten the dog on its cute little head and went to the store to get chimkins.  
When he got to the chickel store, he noticed Ann was outside, and his heart started beating fast like a good quick train speding down a good track. He had never seens someone so beautiful. She make him see stars all around her face, that’s how beyutiful she waz. She said “hello” to him and he didn’t no what to say, so he screamed, “AAAAHHHHH!!!!” and she started to cry.  
“It’s okay,” said Pete, patting her soldier comfortably. He wasn’t sure weather or not to stop sweating. His body felt cold and hot at the same tim. He felt like he cud feel his beard growing. He scratched his chin. Ann let out a very large sob, which fell to the ground with a wet smacking sound. Pete stepped around the sob and drew Ann close to him, then showed her the picture and she smile. She wipped her hand a cross her nose and I's and said, “What a beautiful puncture. Is that me?”  
“Yes,” Pete repiled sadly. “and that’s me,” he explained as he pointed to the picture. Then ann laughed outside. And she laughed and lafed and laffafed. Then Pete started laughing, too, and that’s how he met Ann. When erry1 was dunn laughing, Pete gave Ann the picture. She looked at it and then looked back at him. There were tears in her eyebrows.  
“What’s going on?” she asked of Pete.  
“I’m going to buy some kickends.” Pete explained, then he pushed Ann away from him and stormmed inside the chilken building, where he bought three of those things. When he went back out again, Ann was still there. She looked at him and he looked back and her and the thing that they felt between them made them bothe feel like they should go home. And that is just what they did.  
When Pete got home He told Even all about his day and Avon rolled her eyes at him. He thinks he’s so original, she thought, and the she rolled over with a gown and went to sleep. Peter laffed and said, “I guess I’ll save the game then.” and went to slep.


	4. Chapter 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, best friends that r also my babies I hop you lick this new chrapter of my novel called A Farmers Life 4 me. I made it just for you so I hope you like it!

The next day Pete was disappointed to find that he was still alive. He jumped energetively from the bed and wilted a jaundiced tune as he prepared himself his breathtake, which was a massive piece of food with a black square stuck to the side of it. He stuffed the whole thing in his mouth all at once and fell like he couldn’t breathe. His eyes began to tear up, and swallowing was painful, but he did it anyway because that’s what oyu do when you need to eat breakfast every day. After that, he laid of the floor and cried silently for forty minutes.  
After he was Finnish, he goat up and went outside to milk his chorkins. They clucked and he collected their eggs, which he put in a box near the dor. He sighed because he felt like he was doing a good job. When he left the chipkin house, he saw his dog, Evnin. Evnin looked at him and borked loudly. Pete frowned at this, thinking about how loud the bark was disapparatingly. Then he jogged over to his cropes and fed them water until they told him to stop.  
“I guess I done framing for today,” said Pete to nobody in particular. Evan growled and wagged her tail aggressively. “I guess I’ll go to town or something.” And that’s when he went to go back to the town again but he saw something he hadn’t hoticed before! It was a path! To a place he had not been yet!!! “OHM Y FUCKING GOD!!!” he whispered under his birth. And he fallowed that path all the way to a place he had never been before. “I never been here before,” he said redundantly, looking around at the place that was new to him. Then he walked over to someone he had never met before.  
“You’ve never met me before,” said the man who he had not met.  
“Yes.” Pete agreed. “I was gust thinking aboot the time that I went on a train to get here.” Pete continued awakely.  
“I build houses.” said the man, and that information made Pete gaspe because he didn’t know that.  
“I didn’t know that.” Pete repeated patiently.  
“Okay, so if you every need me to make your house a better house, I will do that, but you have to pay me for it in American currently.” Pete nodded and told the man to happy birthday and the man said thank you its nit my birthday an pete said it is now and the man said oh boy and stopped sawing on wood and ran of and pete thought he was probaby going to eat his brithat cake but instead the man was going to tell his wife she had to move out by the end of the month or else she wouldnt ger het deposite back which made her cry but she still agreed because it was his birthday and oyu cant make someone sad on their brithday.  
“Okay,” said Pete and he left. He then went into a cave nearby and found a mushroom. He picked the mushroom and he ate it, but after that he felt the cave. When he was outside of the cake he went bat in again and found a mushroo just the same growing in the same place as the alst one which he jUST ATE!! So he picked it and helped it over his head and Ran all the way into the town and looked aroun. And that’s when he saw the bar so he went insid. When he got inside he saw a lady who named herself Eve so he walked up to her and this is what happeneded:  
Eve said hello and Pete said hello back and Eve said what’s that you got there and Pete said I don’t yow what youre taking about and Eve said hahaha and Pete rolled he eyes and Eve then screamed “I HAVE ABANANDONMENT ISSUES” and Pete decided he would woo her, but he wasn’t very interested in that kind of this so he threw the mushroom at her and she said thank you for the mushroom and he stomped his feet because he felt like she didn’t understand what he meant.  
It turns out that it’s really hard to be a former. There are so many ladies in the town that want to marry you and you could marry iny of tham, really, which is kind of sad, but also good for you. Sometimes having aptions is nice, but it’s also really stressfull. Have you ever been trying to decide which kind of cereal to bui but there are so many different kinds that your vision starts to go black so instead of buying serial you go home and don’t ate anything and go to sleep horngry and ask yourself why you’re like this but nobody anseres because you’re all alone. Ad that’s just what Pete did.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Henlo naybers I am so Glade you are here today with me to celibate the publication of my 5th chapter which I rote for you, my fans. I am so exited for you too reed this chapter which IS why I wrote it four my fans which is you so thank you and also your welcome you r beyutiful have a lovingly day I love u!

On Chapter 5, pete woke up and he was ready for the day. He ate his breakfast again and then he went outside, but this time, samething diffent happened. Someone came and told him that tomorrow whas the spring festival and it would be a good time to bring something to the soup. You see, every year there was a giant pot of soups in the middle of the town skewer. Everybody in twon went and put things in the soup and then everyone ate it. It tastes terrible but they do it every year anyway because that’s how tradition works. Pete thought that sounded like a grey adea, and he asked if the soup was gluten free and the man laughed and walked away.  
“What nice man,” said Pete to nobody. He was so lonely. He patted his dog on the head, then he picked up is dog and walked around the farm crying the dog between his sweaty hands. The dog was very unhappy with this, but loved Pete anyway. The reason Pete seldom carried his dog is becausue it ment he cudent run and he usally run everywhere because he wan’ted to show everyone how fit he was. The dog didn’t even care how fit he was, witch waas pretty rude, but Pete still loved the dog anywy. Today was a speachal day where Pete got to harvest his popatos and that made him happy, because he got to get muney from his big farm box which he used to buy more drops.  
“I’m going to go buy somemore corpse!” Pete said to his dog, who could not speak Inglish. “It is futile to talk to you, my frend, because you can’t understand me.” Pete continued. You just said that, thought evin. So Evin went to town. When Pete got there, he decided to visit his friend at the church hose name was Maria.  
“Hello,” Pete whispered behind Marios shoulder. Maria gav a start. But then Pete told her not to be frightened, so she stopped being frightened.  
“What are you doing here?” Maria asked questioningly of Pete.  
“I am making friends with you.” said Pete, affronted.  
“Oh, okay,” Maria replied neutrally. She didn’t like friends.  
So you left because uoy thought you might have better lick giving mushrooms to Ann. So when you went to get the mushrooms for Ann, it was in the same place as it was before! And When you picked it to give to Ann and ran and ran and ran very extremly quick and fast as if you were made of speed and your legs wint equality fast. But you had one obstickle. Yop had to stop to eat lunch, which you drew forth from your pocket and it was another umbow and it had some lint on it because it was from your pocket but yout ate it anyway for the good of the peeple.  
You continued ranning all the way to Ann and she saw you coming but pretended she did not. You said to her that you brought the mushroom for her and she was incredited, because she said “really?” and you said yes and she said thank you and you said nothing, but just stood there washing her eet it and she ate it all at once which you thought was very impassive. After that interaction, you thought about tomorrow and thot that tomrorow might be the homecoming ball and so you asked Ann:  
“May you coming to the Sporng Festival tomraraow?” Pete asked?  
“And she nodddd her head?” SHE SAID BACK TO pete. Pete was sweating very much so, so he told that to Ann and ann gigggld charmingly. Which made Peter sweat even more. He went to pick up his mushroom of the floor except that they were outside so it was not the floor it was wacktually the grownd. The marshroom slipped out of his sweating hand and he loked up and Ann seemed very large above him and he felt like he might be sick and he went to pick up the mashroom again and it sliped out of his hands again time and then he felt like crying and his fece went hot and turned red. Ann laughed and laughed and Pete felt very small and he clung his hands to Ann’s apron and Ann lifted a finger as if to shake it as if to scrold him and he scramed at her.  
“I’m srry, I have to GO TO THE BRATHROOM!” Pete screamed loudly, dropping the mushrim and it feel to grond with a loud BAND! The mushroom broke into a thousand pieces and they made a sound like winchimes as they nessled into the earth. Ann loked after Pete as he ran, dripping with sweat down the street. She smiled menacingly, stroking the cat on her lap. Her planes were coming together.


	6. Capter 6.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nello agin my flavorite peeple I hope u r hapee today and today I choped down a tree with my framly so I feel just lik Pete frOM THEE STOREE ISn't that so funny I hope everyone is happy evry day and if u r knot then it wil git bretter i swear hang in ther babies!!!!!

On the day of the Sponge Frestival, Pete awake to the wound of someone laughing. It was a very loud LAFF sound and it made it startle quite so. So he searched his house for the sors of the sound. It was you, you FOOL, thought Evan loudly, but she didn’t say n e thing bcuz she couldn’t talk.  
“Oh, okay,” said Peteet, and then he thought that waz a gud thing because he hadn’t laffed in a long tim. He looked down at his hands and they were clenched into fists and his nails were digging into his palm and blud was dripping from is chuckles. He then laffeded again because he was being so silly and his laugh was even louder this time and it was so lode it made the house shook. And then he wenet outside and feed chonkins and get their egs and there were so many chinkinks now, so many that Pete could barely moov about the chiknes shed and it smelled ferry strongly of the things that kickens smell like which was not exactly plesent.  
Peter was rich with eggs, but that didn’t bother him because he had beggar fish to fry. And those fish were he croips and he hravested them all and even the grass which he had planted so that he would have grass to feed the cowns and he didn’t have any cows yet but he would soon because he would buy them at the chinkin store which also sold caws. And he whent into twon and then he got to town and in the town there were so many people because everynun was there for the Sprig Frestival and when he got there he saw everyone and then he saw Nina and she was selling purr fumes and he wanted to buy sum and so he did and then he fond An Ann she was standing and he said to her these worlds:  
“Would you like to buy some perfume?” and she said no because she spendz all her money on milk for her farthers milking machine and you said, “That okay because I have some perfum right herr that you may have if you wood like.” and she expected it gatefully and sprayed it in her eyes to make her eyes smell good and then you smelled her eyes and said they melled like roses and she thought that was funny because the purfum was smelled like violents and then you said “Maybe we dance with me?” and she took both of your hands in hers and put them on her face which smelled like flowers and you danced and danced and ate soup of which you put an egg into and the soup but it did not taste very much like eggs but that was okay because you dent like agges anyway and isn’t that funny because you are an egg farmer and you told Ann that soon would you be a milk framer too and she said that yes and then you went hom and went to sleep for ages and ages.  
Once you woke up once more it was almoste sumner and you went an bot a cwo from the Kircken store which was a baby cow and that was sad because the baby cow din’t have a mother but you said “I will be your mother” and you let the cow suckle from your udders and the cow said “mmm, that is good milk” and you said thank you and the baby cown said no tank YOU and you patted the wow in the head and said I will name you Butt because that is the best name for a baby and you are my baby cow and Butt liked being brushed so you brushed Butt and told her she was brautiful and that is the story of how you got for frist cow.  
Now that was a lot, wasn’t it? We have come so far. Give yoursel fa pat on your own head for all your hard work. But never mind that because we have to find out what else happs!  
Then the days got hotter and hotter and befrore Pete knew it it was the first of Summer and the day Pete walked outside on the first of dummer everything looked difernt! There was brown where the green yoused to be, for frist of all. And for secondly the musik was diffent and Pete liked that because the spring music was started to invade his dreams and he loved night time because that meant everyone was sielent and finally the music stoped and he could think again. But that was also not good because when he thought he thought of all the things he should not think about and the music drove him into a frenzy but the silence was so much worse because then he was al alone, all alon with his thoughts and he couldn’t stand how loud the silence was. It was deafening and it came in all around him, on all sides and he couldn’t breathe but he was gasping like a fish on land, suffocating, always suffocating, smothered in a thick blanket of his own failures. Another great thing about summer was that Evan liked it, so she was a verry hapy pupy indeed and that is a beautiful thing to be indeed.


End file.
